Support Among Victims

The 50-some victims, that have come forward to press charges of sexual abuse against ex-Penn State football coach Sandusky, met one another as they attended the preliminary hearing today. Although Sandusky waived his right to a preliminary hearing, essentially halting the proceedings in their tracks, and this means the victims' testimonies against him will wait until trial, they are realizing they are not alone. Victims are strengthened and emboldened by the knowledge of and introduction to other victims, especially of the same perpetrator. When victims gain the strength and courage to speak out and actually testify in court against their perpetrators, then there is a chance that justice will be done.

Predators Are Big on Denial.

Both Herman Cain, ex-presidential candidate, and Sandusky, ex-coach from Penn State, have denied all allegations of sexual abuse that have been made against them. Cain even boasted of never having done anything inappropriate, a ludicrous statement as no one is perfect in this regard. These blanket denials are typical of predators. They simply cannot admit to any wrong-doing or their whole system of manipulation, satisfaction for their addiction and cover-up will crumble beneath them. Now we see that Sandusky has made a legal choice, at the advice of his lawyer, to waive his right to a preliminary hearing which would allow his accusers to be heard and the media to have access to their allegations. This too looks to me like a man who wants to deny the truth of the 50-some allegations that have been made against him. So, predators first deny they have done anything wrong and act as though everything is normal and okay, and, when pressed, they act as though they have something to hide. This lack of consistence and evidence of mixed messages is also typical of predators. They will do and say anything to keep themselves out of trouble, looking respectable and free of constraints in satisfying their thirst.

The Survivors Speak

We are finally, thanks to the media, being forced to pay attention to the allegations of survivors of the sexual abuse that is rampant in our culture. It is being exposed in places we haven't wanted to admit it exists: the sports programs at Penn State and Syracuse for starters. No doubt it's happening in other similar institutions but just hasn't been exposed yet. Survivors are gaining courage to speak out which is helping us to have a long-overdue conversation as a nation. We must wake up to the fact that our children are being sexually abused by people we all believe we can trust (this includes scout leaders, high school coaches, ministers, teachers, bosses...) and it's being covered up and allowed to continue. This is a systemic form of abuse where power, fame and making a profit take precedence over the safety and healthy development of our children, our future leaders. This only perpetuates the aberrant behavior in our society that breeds not only further abuse but the inability to do what's right in many areas of our human scene. We need leaders who are healthy, moral, strong, secure and personally content people who can lead us in a time of great global, human need. We must stop letting our children be abused, used and neglected! If ever it "took a village", now is the time when we must all recognize our responsibility to participate in the healthy rearing of our children. So, let's keep the conversation going and turn our thoughts and energy toward ways to prevent this kind of abuse, to expose it when it happens, to heal from it and to hold accountable those who perpetrate these atrocities. The bottom line is: sexual abuse is not acceptable behavior and it must stop!

Predators in the news

Again, we hear in the news about predators who prey on the vulnerable and then deny it and blame others. This is an unfortunate and very common reality in our culture. We must educate ourselves about the profile of a predator and the ways in which people become vulnerable to such abusers. We must work to prevent predation, sexual and otherwise, and then we must offer treatment that includes a willingness to face reality and talk about this problem. I have written a book, Lillie's Redemption, that addresses this issue with regard to ministers who prey on members of their congregations. I offer tools for healing to victims and I show in compelling terms, with great characters and a page-turner plot, the profile of a predator in order to teach what to look for and how to understand such people in our midst. My book is very timely. I encourage you to buy Lillie's Redemption and join the conversation.

Craft Shows and Silent Auctions

At the advice of a friend I am renting tables at Craft Fairs, during this Christmas season, and donating my book to local silent auction fundraisers. The Chamber of Commerce has a listing of local churches and businesses that do fundraisers and craft shows. Calling around to ferret out these events bears fruit. I will gift wrap one of my books to demonstrate the idea that it would make a good Christmas gift and then offer gift wrapping as an option. So, get yourself out there! Any other ideas we authors could use for marketing our books? Let me know.

Spirit Bowls

I create pieces of art that serve any number of purposes. You can take this soft, crocheted "basket", that I call a Spirit Bowl, with you on trips to adorn your motel room and hold keys, cell phone... or crunch it up in your backpack on a camping trip. It can be a spiritual container to carry treasured items of meaning and used for personal ritual. I label, bless and smudge each one so they are imbued with prayer and positive energy. They are for sale through my website.

Creative Fire

The creative fire is coursing through me and I am bursting with ideas for things to create. I crochet Spirit Bowls, I knit altar cloths and soul mats, I knit and felt bags, I journal and I write, and I create retreat and workshop experiences for people... The creative flow of ideas and making things with my hands is such a life-giving energy which gives my life a full and rich quality, akin to spiritual nourishment. What are you creating these days? What ideas keep you up at night? How does that enrich your life?

Showing up and doing the work helps you do the work

Today, I did a read aloud and book signing at our local Barnes & Noble. Folks loved the passages I read and were ready with questions. We had a very lively discussion. I then signed and sold several books. These are the things I learned: 1) always tell people what your book is about when they ask; 2) it helps to go around and invite people to come to your signing, people will come; 3) when you reach out and engage with people they will respond and often buy your book; 4) no matter how small the audience, you are getting experience at engaging with audiences and honing your speech. I've learned to appreciate every venue, every book sold, every opportunity to talk to a potential reader. There's no room for being discouraged!

My feet in two worlds

I often feel that I am straddling the gap between heaven and earth. As a spiritual person, a minister, a contemplative, a writer I think more in terms of heaven. It's the earthly tasks of life, like dishes and vacuuming and stacking wood for the wood stove (we heat our house exclusively with wood) and doing the grunt work of getting things done to contribute to the income making mechanisms of our family, that evade me while I "have my head in the clouds". Understandably this frustrates my practical, businessman husband. How is it that he has to do all the hard work while I star gaze? Somehow it's my purpose to be a holder of things soul and spirit, but that doesn't always pay the bills. So, I am forever seeking that balance as I try to keep both my feet stable in their different worlds. Does anyone else out there struggle with this in their lives?

How does a writer justify her work if she is not getting paid yet?

I feel squeezed in a vice of needing to follow this calling to write another book and yet having expenses, on the book I'm currently marketing and trying to sell, that need to be paid off. I am not yet making enough money on my first book to justify spending time to write the second book (the sequel to the first one). I feel caught in a sort of catch 22. How do we do this, writers? How do we justify this job of writing when we are not being paid for it (yet)? Can we live on our faith that our books will sell and pay day will come some day? Please help me by sharing your stories of dealing with this dilemma.

I'm going to a Writer's Conference

I am signed up to attend a Writer's Conference this weekend (Breathe Christian Writer's Conference in West Michigan). I hope to learn about how to use the social network for marketing, about techniques for writing a second novel as I get ready to start writing the sequel to my first novel, Lillie's Redemption, and about agents and book publicity. Getting together with other writers, authors and speakers is going to be helpful to my process at this point. I'll share what I learn. Stay tuned.

Faith is required in marketing a book

Marketing a book is a very different thing than writing a book. Marketing takes a combination of making things happen, doing the "leg work", and letting go and allowing things to germinate. This "get-it-done-let-it-go" thing is a little tough at times. Germination - (people reading and passing on my book and thinking about it and telling others about it and eventually those others buy it and read it and they tell others...) is mostly invisible to the author. I get very little feedback on how people feel about my book or who is buying and reading it. When I do get feedback, I treasure it and file it away (in my "feedback file" and in my heart). I try to live on the encouragement that comes from the bits of feedback I get and the tiny amounts of evidence that my book is circulating. I try to keep plugging in doing the "leg work" and getting my book out there all the while I try to let go of the organic process underway, let go of the results. It's like driving in complete darkness and having the faith to know you are on the road. So, I plug on trying to stay positive and hopeful and keep the faith while everyday I wait for things to take off!

The Call of the Wild

Bicycling on the backroads of Michigan's Upper Peninsula for the past week with 35 other people as the foliage changed colors and the clouds blew past in the September sky has left me with a thirst for more wilderness and natural interactions with our beautiful world. The exquisite blue of the sky and the rich sunsets over the lake, the hoot of the owl and the bark of the coyote, all seep into the depths of my soul and call to that which is wild within me. How can I sit, now, in an armchair, inside a house with four walls when the outside world is so alive and fresh? How am I temped to turn on the TV when the trees and plants and animals offer plenty of entertainment? Farewell to my biking friends and my camping in the midst, and hello to a desire to keep getting out there, no matter what the weather. Will you go out into Nature to commune with the fauna (animals) and the flora (plants, trees, flowers) this autumn and winter? Join me in celebrating our incredible natural world!

It's an issue of focus.

I feel ready to write the scenes for my sequel that are forming themselves in my head. I have mapped out the plot lines for the whole story and now I need to buckle down and start cranking out actual written material. But it's an issue of focus. I cannot just sit down anywhere and start writing. I need to get off by myself (which is often in my own little world in a coffee shop with lots of background noise where I can be anonymous), think about the characters (already so well fleshed out in Lillie's Redemption) and immerse myself in their world. Then, without distractions, I can begin to let the story flow and the writing comes. I don't worry about material that will later be edited out, I just let it flow. I'll come back to it later. So, carving out time and place for just writing is the key and I will have to do that when I return home and plan out my schedule for the fall. Mornings are the most fruitful time in the day for me to write. So, I will write in the mornings and then do the other things I need to get done in life. I'm ready.

I have heard from my first reader with whom I have no connection other than my book. To be hearing from people out there who love my work without ever having met me, is an extraordinary experience. He says: "I loved the story, the characters felt like friends of mine, and I hope to find out what they are up to in the future. Thank you for sharing them with us. You have a wonderful gift for story and I believe your book will be a vehicle in the healing journey for many." Thank you sir for this review!

A need to keep writing.

I have spent this past week mapping out the story of the sequel to Lillie's Redemption entitled Abigail's Porch. I was feeling unsettled and paralyzed and couldn't figure out why. It came to me that marketing my first book was not a replacement for the creative work of writing. I realized I needed to keep going and continue the story started in Lillie's Redemption. So, Lillie and Joshua continue their budding relationship, Martin is present to his family and Abigail continues to offer her wise counsel. Characters Ruth, Debra, Ned and some new ones now occupy my mind. So, keep following the story. If you haven't yet read Lillie's Redemption (available at Barnes & Noble, Schulers Books & Music in Grand Rapids, The Bookman in Grand Haven, on Kindle and Nook and on my website: www.lalobainc.com) I encourage you to do so. People are loving it and you will too.

Hello readers. I have written a book, published in April, about a small town struggling to heal from the aftermath of Clergy Sexual Abuse in the local church.

Lillie's Redemption is a powerful, fictional take on the real epidemic of this particular and most devastating kind of abuse. It is systemic, in that many people play a part in it. Often members of the congregations of these ministers cover-up the abuse they know is happening because they receive power and prestige from being close, personal friends with the offending clergyman (up to 38% of male, protestant ministers perpetrate sexually against members of their own congregations).

A lethal network of loyalty and mutual obligation is established and becomes a part of the problem. Often victims are afraid to speak up about the abuse they have experienced because they feel it was somehow their fault and they don't think anyone will believe that their minister could or would do such a thing. Even the friends or parents of victims often are swayed by peer pressure and their love of the pastor to silence or minimize the abuse experience. Denial is a huge problem. People do not want to think that their church, or any church for that matter, would be that unsafe. This leads to pretending that church is a safe place when often it is not.

As a result, this pervasive abuse is kept under the surface. No one wants to talk about it and thus churches remain a hotbed for predatory pastors to come and get away with their abuse of power and sexual exploitation. I seek to bring this out into the open. I have been affected by it personally and professionally and I know of at least 4 ministers in my community who have been guilty of Clergy Sexual Abuse.

The conversation needs to come out of the shadows and into the light where we can talk about it and then find ways to prevent it, deal with it properly and heal from it. It must be a systemic, or community, response to a systemic, or community, problem. Lillie's Redemption is my first offering to the public to reveal the horrifying reality of Clergy Sexual Abuse within the Protestant Church. It is not just Catholic priests who do this, folks!

Join me in the conversation. Have you experienced this in your community or church? Do you know of people who have been victimized or affected by a predatory pastor? Let me know your thoughts on this.

My novel, Lillie's Redemption (with compelling characters, a wonderful love story, lots of healing and a chance at redemption), is available on my website: lalobainc.com, at Barnes & Noble, Schulers Books and Music at all three locations in Grand Rapids, at The Bookman in Grand Haven, MI. as well as on Kindle and Nook. Thanks, and looking forward to hearing from you. Author Lydia Waring Meyer